Jul 6, 2010

My Father's Day Post

Warning: This post may be a little depressing. At least for me it is...

I know I haven't posted since last weekend (even though I have plenty of content to post). Good thing Maria has posted so there has been activity on the blog.

My father passed away on Sunday, June 27, 2010, one week after Fathers Day, at the age of 78. Early last year, he was hospitalized with a serious case of pneumonia. My family strongly believes that things in life happen for a reason even if the reason isn't always obvious at that moment. That hospitalization led to the discovery of cancerous cells in his lungs. Luckily, it was discovered early enough and was removed. He then underwent chemotherapy as a preventative measure. But in April of this year we discovered that he had very aggressive bone cancer. We were told that no treatment would cure him. At most, treatment might slow down its progression. But the strong treatment necessary would make him so sick. The outcome didn't outweigh the consequences. We were told he had months left.

We knew that dreaded day was coming but we didn't know it was going to be so fast. The Friday before Fathers Day his health started to deteriorate fast. We were warned that there wasn't a lot of time left. This entire process has been so mentally draining and full of mixed emotions. I wish this wouldn't of happened. I am relieved that he is no longer suffering. The last 2 months of his life were no way to live. I am happy that he is no longer feeling pain. I'm sad that he is no longer here. I wish our relationship had been better. We both have different personalities and would bump heads a lot. But he is my father, I always loved him. I am happy that our relationship was so much better over the last year. And most importantly, I cherish the fact that the last time I saw him awake (Fathers Day at around 1am) and in a right state of mind he told me he loved me very much.

This experience has taught me a lot. I am not posting this to get sympathy from others. I am posting this to remind everyone that life can be unpredictable. I always thought I'd have my parents around for a long time. I never thought that at the age of 25, I'd be crying over the fact that my father would never get to see me graduate from law school. I never thought I wouldn't be walked down the aisle by my father the day I get married. I am posting this because I want to remind everyone to appreciate those little moments in life that you share with the ones you love. I am posting this to remind you all to cherish your family because you don't know when it might be the last moment.



This is what I wore to his memorial service June 27. This is 2 coats of OPI's "Aphrodite's Pink Nightie." It's a beautiful frosty pink. I felt it was appropriate.

10 comments:

missjessiiiica said...

Wow, I really feel for you. Looking at this post, Is like a mirror image of the year I have had. My Nanny, (who I am very close with) Was hospitalized with a serious case of double pneumonia in early december. The symptoms of Pneumonia we not going away, even though her tests were clear. The doctors ran tests and it was found that she had advanced lung cancer in both lungs and lymph nodes. We were told that the cancer was so advanced that she had only months to live, and just like your father, Treatment would only drag things out. Nanny went home from the hospital early January and passed away on Valentines Day. There wasnt many days that she was in a right state of mind, but I was there almost every day anyways. She always asked to see my nails when I was done painting them and her favorite was OPI Crimson Carol, and I can hardly use that polish now, because everytime I do i see that big grin on her face, And i just dont want to run out of it! My nanny always wanted kisses.
Reading your post made me feel better. Im not sure why, because its awful to know someone else had to go thru the same experience that our family did. It was comforting to read all the same:(
Take your time, you will need it.
www.konadqueen.blogspot.com
Jessica<3

Liz said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I completely agree with your sentiment about cherishing your loved ones while you have time. I lost my mom when I was 27, after she had been sick for a very long time. Even though we had a long time to say goodbye, it was still strangely sudden, and I still miss her five years later. (More now, in some ways, since at first I mostly felt relief that she was no longer sick and suffering.) I'm glad you got to spend father's day with him and that you've made some good memories.

Tiana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan Harmeyer said...

I'm sorry for your loss. That was a great post - even if it's sad. My hubs always says "tomorrow never comes" and it bugs me, but he's right. Everything does happen for a reason (and I hate that, too, but it's true).

Anonymous said...

I know what you're going through. My dad died june 18 and he too started off with pneuomonia. He'd been sick with many things since I was 8 and it got really complicated veryfast. He had an infection that spread all over his body and eventually he couldnt move or talk. He was in a lot of pain and I know he isnt anymore but I wish he hadn't had to go. Since I'm 17 and he also won't be able to see me walk down the aisle. I won't be able to call him while I'm at college and his grandkids will never meet him. my heart aches when I think of him because I miss him so much. It's hard but we'l get through it and it's kind of a relief knowing he's not in pain anymore.

Meeka said...

I know I'm very lucky to have both my parents in good health. Things like this remind me though that I should make more effort to talk to them or spend time with them. I would be devestated to be in your position. (All of you who've replied in similar situations) My condolences to you and I wish you and your family the best during such a hard time.

Twister said...

I am sorry for your loss

kp said...

hey, just to let you know, i'm a follower of your blog, and i wanna take a few seconds to say, sorry for your loss, and you're right about appreciating those around us. stay strong :)

chocaddict said...

Oh dear, I felt so sorry for you when I read your post. You're too young to go through this, it feels so unfair. When the pain will have eased a little what will come back to your mind are memories of happier times you shared with your dad, never forget these.
((hugs))

Halifax said...

I'm so sorry to read this and thank you for posting about it. I try to remind myself of what you said from time to time xo